second place.

A few weeks ago I said I wouldn’t change anything. There’s a whole lot I would change these days. There’s always an easy way in to a situation with no easy way out. I’ve been going through some really heavy stuff, and it kills me that I can’t talk about it. But for a number of reasons, I just can’t. On top of everything, I think I’m starting to realize that those who I care about don’t care about me as much I care about them. Sometimes I think caring is just a set up to get knocked down. I always try to put everyone before myself, just to end up in second place in the eyes of others. With my friends, with my family, with anyone, it’s beginning to seem like there’s always something or someone more important when I need them. Maybe it's not true that nice guys finish last, second place isn't last, but it sure isn't first either. I’m sick of waiting, waiting for my life get back to normal, waiting for the little things to go right, waiting to be happy again, waiting for people to start giving a fuck, waiting for anything, and waiting for everything. Here’s three cheers for second place.